A curated set of books, podcasts, organizations, and local resources I send clients toward — chosen for accuracy, inclusivity, and not making things worse.
Where to start when the partnership is the unit of attention.
The foundational text. Still useful for any partnership, not just marriage.
The follow-up; covers trust, betrayal, and repair.
On erotic life inside long-term partnership. Essential.
For couples in or after an infidelity.
Read these before you open anything.
Attachment-informed polyamory; the most important polyamory book of the decade.
The cultural foundation. Some dated language; still useful.
The most concrete how-to. Pair with Polysecure.
The 2024 revised edition; covers ethics, power, and harm in poly communities.
Books that take kink seriously as part of a whole life.
Paired classics. Read whichever side(s) of the dynamic interest you.
How to enter kink community without making rookie mistakes.
Sex science for women; foundational for desire-discrepancy work.
For tracing the architecture of your own desire.
For the exploration, the integration, and the everyday.
Bisexual identity memoir; sharp and well-researched.
The reference text. Get the 2022 edition.
Politically grounded erotic and embodiment work.
Disability-justice framings of care and community.
The most consistent ENM podcast going. Practical, evidence-aware.
Real couples sessions edited for podcast. Useful for both clients and clinicians.
Kink interviews, sex-positive, journalist-led.
Trauma-informed clinician conversations.
The longest-running queer community center in the country. Programming, support groups, advocacy.
Direct services, advocacy, and community building for LGBTQ+ people of color in the Capital Region.
Mutual aid network with active relationship to local mental health and harm-reduction work.
Vetted list of trans-affirming providers in medical, mental health, legal, and gender-affirming care.
National crisis line, English and Spanish, with specialized counselors for LGBTQ+ and veterans.
Peer support hotline run by and for trans people. No active rescue without your consent.
Crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ young people under 25.
Confidential. Call, text, or chat at opdv.ny.gov.
Crime Victim and Sexual Violence Center — counseling, advocacy, ED accompaniment.
24/7. Anonymous chat at rainn.org. Does not log IP addresses.